You Can’t Mindset Your Way Out of Trauma: The Physical Signs You’re Still Carrying It

14 May

When most people think of trauma, they imagine emotional struggles — anxiety, overwhelm, people-pleasing, overthinking, relational challenges.

But trauma doesn’t just live in your mind.

It lives in your body.

In fact, as Dr. Gabor Maté — world-renowned expert in trauma, stress, and illness — writes, “The mind is body, and the body is mind; they are inseparable.”
Unresolved trauma can shape not only how you think and feel, but how your body functions, how your immune system responds, and how your health holds up under pressure.

Important Disclaimer

If you are experiencing physical symptoms — such as pain, fatigue, digestive distress, or other medical concerns — always consult your healthcare provider first.
This blog is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

However, if your medical tests come back “fine” but you’re still living with chronic symptoms…
If you’ve tried every supplement, treatment, or protocol and feel something deeper is going on…
It may be worth exploring whether unresolved trauma is playing a role.

What Is Relational (Developmental) Trauma?

Relational trauma (also known as developmental trauma) doesn’t come from one big event.

It’s the slow, repeated pattern of emotional needs not being met.

It’s growing up in an environment where you were praised for achievements, but not held in your vulnerability.
Where you learned to be the helper, the strong one, the peacekeeper — even when you were hurting inside.
Where survival meant bracing, scanning the room, and staying one step ahead.

Over time, your nervous system wires itself into chronic survival mode.
Even long after the original threat is gone, the body keeps responding as if it’s still under pressure.

The Hidden Physical Symptoms

Here are some of the common body-based signs we see in women carrying long-term, unresolved relational trauma — and what research has linked them to:

Chronic muscle tension — jaw, shoulders, neck, hips always tight, like the body is bracing for impact; often linked to the body’s chronic stress response and unresolved hypervigilance

Digestive issues — bloating, constipation, nausea, IBS; tied to the gut-brain axis, where stress and trauma disrupt vagal tone and digestive function

Chronic fatigue — deep exhaustion no amount of sleep fixes; associated with the long-term energy depletion caused by constant sympathetic nervous system activation

Unexplained pain — fibromyalgia-like aches, back pain, headaches, pelvic tension; shown in research to correlate with somatisation, where emotional pain manifests as physical discomfort

Migraines or tension headaches — linked to perfectionism, emotional suppression, and chronic internalised stress patterns

Breath holding or shallow breathing — often unnoticed but keeps the body locked in a state of sympathetic arousal, disrupting the balance between body and mind

Insomnia or restless sleep — wired but tired, difficulty falling or staying asleep, tied to dysregulation in the stress-response system, particularly the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis (Buckley & Schatzberg, 2005).

Hormonal imbalances — painful periods, irregular cycles, thyroid disruptions, often linked to how chronic stress interferes with endocrine functioning

Skin issues — acne, eczema, psoriasis flaring with emotional stress, reflecting the connection between the skin, immune system, and neuroendocrine pathways

Immune dysfunction — frequent colds, autoimmune flares, chronic inflammation; associated with the impact of chronic stress on immune suppression and dysregulation

Why This Happens

As Gabor Maté explains in When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress, when we suppress our emotions, the stress doesn’t just disappear — it gets stored in the body.

Protective patterns that once helped you survive become embedded in your nervous system and tissue.

You might have done the mindset work, the talk therapy, the meditation.
You might understand your patterns intellectually.
But until your body feels safe enough to let go, those old survival responses will keep showing up.

This isn’t your fault.
It’s not because you’re weak, ungrateful, or undisciplined.
It’s because you were never meant to carry this alone.

A Gentle Reminder

Again, none of this replaces proper medical care.
If you’re experiencing ongoing symptoms, always rule out underlying health conditions with a qualified practitioner.

But if you’ve been told “you’re fine” and you still feel off — it might be time to explore the emotional, relational, and somatic roots of what your body is holding.

It’s not too late.
You can’t mindset your way out of trauma — but you can meet your body with the support it needs to finally let go.

References

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Buckley, T. M., & Schatzberg, A. F. (2005). On the interactions of the HPA axis and sleep: Normal HPA axis activity and circadian rhythm, exemplary sleep disorders. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 90(5), 3106–3114.
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