Why You Still Feel Like a Fraud (Even When You’re Crushing It)
You’ve got the qualifications.
The results.
The praise.
On paper, you’re accomplished.
You’re the one people admire, depend on, turn to.
But inside?
There’s a whisper:
“What if they’re wrong about me?”
“What if I can’t pull it off next time?”
“What if this all falls apart?”
No matter how many people tell you you’re brilliant, a part of you just… doesn’t believe it.
And here’s the thing most people don’t realise:
This isn’t just imposter syndrome.
This is what happens when you grow up in an environment where you didn’t get your emotional needs met.
Maybe you were the smart girl.
The good girl.
The one who got attention for achieving — not just for being.
You learned early on that:
✔ It’s safer to doubt yourself before anyone else can.
✔ It’s safer to hold back than risk being wrong or rejected.
✔ It’s safer to over-deliver, over-prepare, and over-give — just to keep your place at the table.
Your nervous system became wired around survival.
And survival looked like:
→ Shrinking your ideas in meetings.
→ Second-guessing every decision or conversation.
→ Procrastinating on applying, launching, asking — even though you’re more than qualified.
→ Overcompensating and burning out just to prove you’re not a fraud.
→ Downplaying your success because it feels like “just luck.”
You know these thoughts aren’t logical.
But logic doesn’t touch the parts of you that were shaped by experiences your mind can explain — but your body still remembers.
This isn’t about mindset.
It’s about the parts of you that carry old protective roles.
Parts that learned:
“If I stay small, I’ll stay safe.”
“If I prove myself enough, I’ll stay loved.”
“If I never risk too much, I can’t be humiliated.”
These parts aren’t trying to sabotage you.
They’re trying to protect you — based on rules they learned a long, long time ago.
The healing begins when you stop shaming those parts and start meeting them.
When you ask:
What are you protecting me from?
How long have you been holding this job?
What would help you trust me now?
Because when those parts feel safe to soften, your entire system shifts.
You stop proving.
You start owning.
You stop hiding behind perfectionism.
You start leading with presence.
You stop second-guessing.
You start trusting your timing, your voice, your vision.
You’re not an imposter.
You’re a woman whose brilliance was never meant to stay small.