Dear High-Achieving Woman: It’s Not Burnout. It’s Trauma.
You’re exhausted.
But not just tired-from-a-big-week exhausted.
It’s deeper. Heavier. Like something inside you is running a marathon while your outside self still smiles, performs, and gets sh*t done.
You’ve called it burnout.
You’ve taken magnesium, downloaded the meditation app, booked the breathwork class, maybe even taken a break… and yet?
The tension doesn’t leave. The guilt creeps back in. And the second you try to rest, your mind starts spinning again.
Here’s what I want to gently offer:
This might not be burnout.
This might be trauma.
Not the big, obvious kind.
But the quiet, developmental kind.
The kind that taught you to overachieve to be safe.
The kind that made you feel like if you just did everything right, you’d be loved, or chosen, or finally feel at peace in your body.
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just carrying too much.
If you’ve been the responsible one your whole life…
If you keep showing up for everyone else, even when you're running on fumes…
If you feel like you're never really allowed to fall apart…
That’s not a personality trait. That’s a protective pattern.
And often, it’s a trauma response.
Signs it might be trauma (not just burnout):
You constantly feel like you’re behind, even when you’re doing a lot
You can’t relax unless everything is done perfectly
You micromanage yourself (and maybe everyone around you) to feel safe
You feel guilty asking for help, resting, or saying no
You shrink your needs in relationships to avoid being "too much"
You’re emotionally exhausted, but still can’t stop pushing
And here's the kicker — you’re self-aware.
You’ve done the therapy.
You know your patterns.
And still… something isn’t shifting.
Because insight isn’t the same as healing.
Talk therapy, coaching, mindset work — they’ve taken you far.
But they might not have reached the parts of you that are still stuck in survival.
The parts that were never seen, soothed, or safe to fully feel.
Healing trauma doesn’t mean digging up your past endlessly.
It means working with the younger parts of you that are still trying to protect you…
by keeping you in overdrive
by keeping you small
by making sure no one sees the soft, needy, vulnerable parts of you.
It’s not your fault.
And you don’t need to “figure it out” alone.
Real healing starts when you stop managing the symptoms and start listening to the parts beneath them.
This is the work I do with women every day.
Smart, successful, high-functioning women who look like they have it together — but feel emotionally disconnected, anxious, or on edge.
They don’t need another productivity hack.
They need a safe space to land.
To unlearn the rules they were taught in order to survive.
To feel what their body has been holding.
To remember what it feels like to be connected, alive, and actually at peace.
You don’t have to keep performing wholeness.
There’s another way.
And it’s not just about bouncing back.
It’s about coming home to yourself.
If this resonates… it’s because it’s real.
You’re not imagining it.
You’re not weak for feeling it.
And you don’t have to keep pushing through it.
You’re not burnt out — you’re holding the weight of everything you’ve never had the chance to safely feel.
And healing that?
That’s not selfish.
That’s powerful.